Sometimes I feel like a child that was kept in the dark for too long and finally let out in the light to run free. Overwhelmed by all the trees to see, ground to touch and games to play - all the life to live! This may sound a tad dramatic but it's a loose analogy for how I feel after years of working in jobs where I didn't get to use my creativity or follow my hearts path. Now that my time is largely my own to distribute as I feel best - it's a challenge to decide what comes first!
I have moments where I fear the vastness and scope of possibilities. Other moments I get so excited about all the options that I can't settle down and focus on any of them. I want to knit ALL the yarns, paint ALL the ideas, embroider ALL the stitches, bead ALL the stones...you get the idea.
This excitement can breed some amazing things! Example: It can make me a non stop knitting machine where I continuously experiment with new items and imagine ways to improve the design. I can think of endless fun things to knit and make available on my market tables. Then the overwhelmed sensation can creep in however...I start to wonder things like: Why am I not making more time for painting? When am I going to get around to updating my website? How have I not yet tried those ideas I wrote down months ago? And the biggest of all questions - What do people actually want to buy? Because let's face it - this girl has bills to pay!
Finding that sweet spot between 'what do people want to buy?' and 'what do I want to make?' is a tough one sometimes. Yes - there will always be someone who loves your creation. You don't want to have to find a soulmate for every thing you make though, do you? Hard enough finding one for YOU. What you want is for multiple someones to love your creation. This enables you to keep creating, improving, exploring and ultimately evolving.
I've been fortunate enough to have had opportunities learning from a variety small business owners and creatives. As I try to apply some of this knowledge to my own situation; I realize it might be smarter to choose only a few ideas to focus on. This might help keep me from feeling overwhelmed, help make improvements to those ideas and help build my business identity. In theory this completely makes sense and there are moment I can actually envision what it might look like.
As I struggle with the idea of letting go of the little girl inside who is currently running amok spewing ideas and desires, I decide for now it might still be time to experiment. Feel it all out for myself. Get elbow deep in the very act of creation. I will keep creating and I will see what resonates with others. Through this I might come to a more organic place to settle and take root...